change station without any sence

If I am back? If… I feel myself hung under the transparent autumn sky here – over the warmness and gold leaves. I don’t feel like feeling. Anything. My emotions took an edge a bit. Seems I can let myself do anything – anything now as far as I don’t participate. I let myself to be hugged and to be kissed. Moscow’s beauty – in night, in the morning… I just repeat it, not feeling any word on my lips.

I really want u come back – he said. – and I will wait for it. But u. do u want to come back?
but i dont want u to wait. i want u to live.

I was standing in front of him. But I was several worlds away.