woman in ur life.

- yes, I’m reading “Idiot” now. And I think that I’m starting to get Russian woman’s character.
- But no! that’s not it!

Dostoyevky had just one topic – tragic destiny. Love is just one of moments in this destiny. But destiny is only man’s destiny. The woman is just an obstacle on the way, Dostoyevsky wasn’t interested in this by itself, it’s internal display o man’s destiny. He writes about tragic way of his man’s soul which was person’s way. Yes, woman have a big part on this way. But woman is just man’s temptation and passion. All women are elements, rudiments, where man’s destiny is sinking to. They don’t have destiny by they own. Dostoyevsky is interested in Myshkin and Rogojin’s destiny, and Nastasia Phillipovna is smth which put destiny in practice, awake man’s passionand divide man’s identity. Woman is getting man’s even with himself, is just a decidion of man’s human theme.

U can’t retrace person’s destiny with women’s destiny. And that’s why woman can be interested only as rudiment and atmosphere where man’s destiny goes through.Man id chained to woman with passion. But that his bussines, with just himself, with his passionate nature. He won’t unite with a woman.

And may be that’s why women’s nature of Dostoyevsky is that hysterical, that heartrending, cause it won’t unite with man’s nature…with man…

And there is another type of man.

Who has woman AS a destiny. Whose way, aim, gain, only sense – is unite with a woman. He does everything for being with a woman. And then he does everything for her. Everything got sense only with a woman. What’s the point, what’s the reason to do anything, to reach, to achieve, to try, to make, to become… without woman. FOR.

i was thinking about it watching a man for whom I was sense. And knew, that after loosing me and the point, e needs, juts needs, - to find it again. Will look for it. To justify himself in front of university.

I was watching him and knew that I will never become a destiny for a man who’s telling me he loves. Me. I knew that for this kind of man, for this exactly man I’ll always be aside. That he has his own way. Which is besides woman. Besides me.

My woman nature tell me that I was born to vanish in man. Give myself up to him.
Something more in my nature tells me… that I have my own way too. Besides.

And for u? who am I for u?