one that has never read historical books

After conversations with him I cry sleeping. I have fearful dreams which I can’t stand and I wake up.
After conversations with him about history.

This book about Alessandr II is the second historical book i read. And again – as it was with Pavel I story I go slowly, page by page, sometimes just not being able to read after a word. Each line just published here on the page fill with such a pain and power, with so many tears and sufferings that I can’t stand it and turn my head down.
I never read about war. I never watch films about war.
I can’t understand war.

In this book on one page that was 2 things which made me stop and stare at the wall – imaging –

1824. Peterburg. Neva-river went out of banks:
“7 november 7 pm on the Admiralteistvo tower alarm lights turned on. In the night that was a storm that never was before. By the morning infuriated river throwed itself to the city. Water was boiling like in the copper, that was gigantic waves on the Palace’s square, and square met with Neva and with Nevsky prospect which became a river itself and rats ran up surviving. ..
Just in few days, after water gone he went to watch a city. All the bank in front of Winter Palace was full with broken ships. And more – coffins from watered down cemetery were everywhere around…

1825. Peterburg.
They have to be killed by quarterring. No – said “kind” tcar – we can just hang them.
They were 5. 3 of them slipped down from rope and felt down to grownd. They were decided to hanged again. Muraviev-Apostol – climbing up again with his hands tied told – cursed country where they are not able to make a conspiracy, to judge neither to hang".

Stop here. How u can read more?