in the end of the fests are just days. the poit - is importance we give to it. we just create it. ourselves. like we created Xmas here.
and that was importante for them. first xmas they celebrated without family. and one of them is 28. i felt responsibility and surprising. gray day for u is one of the greates day a year for someone who leave everything and run/go/fly home to celebrate. my flat that i still couldnt leave was empty and in the morning i brought catolics there. there were cooking whole night - young guys! - and wanted to cook whole day more. sitting there on the kitchen i realised more and more that after all we were born in different countries. and i coulnd explain the importance of new year in this country but tat may be becouse i even didnt know it. so i was sitting there watching them singing xmas songs - old as the world there. they say for europian people russia is everything after poland and sometimes poland too. and all europian feel upset as far as they realise that for russian - all the europe is the same - someting "there" - over the west. so these - catolics - were from diferent countries - but i felt the same far. so i just left for work.
only i wanted was shampagne. mee too - but them drank so much shampagne these month together which they never had during all their life probably.
so i picked up everybody on the way home and took them to big xmas dinner. the very aim was to eat till u almost die. and aim was done. holiday we - in santa claus costumes - drunk of russain vodka - were playing hide-and-seek, destroying empty flat. it's importante to feel cozy in company, cozy, and it was here.
when suddenly i found myself under some storm of sincerity, waterfall, stream, some words which i always keep in myself, never can tell - despite it's really necessary sometimes to tell them and to hear them, some words which always stuck somewhere in my mouth, which i afraid like hell - words of my own feelings - words of my own -
i was crying with my words, i was crying saying
not only me was crying this evening
but after all - was i that empty and that full, that sure and that unsure, that happy and that destroyed...
merry christmas
and that was importante for them. first xmas they celebrated without family. and one of them is 28. i felt responsibility and surprising. gray day for u is one of the greates day a year for someone who leave everything and run/go/fly home to celebrate. my flat that i still couldnt leave was empty and in the morning i brought catolics there. there were cooking whole night - young guys! - and wanted to cook whole day more. sitting there on the kitchen i realised more and more that after all we were born in different countries. and i coulnd explain the importance of new year in this country but tat may be becouse i even didnt know it. so i was sitting there watching them singing xmas songs - old as the world there. they say for europian people russia is everything after poland and sometimes poland too. and all europian feel upset as far as they realise that for russian - all the europe is the same - someting "there" - over the west. so these - catolics - were from diferent countries - but i felt the same far. so i just left for work.
only i wanted was shampagne. mee too - but them drank so much shampagne these month together which they never had during all their life probably.
so i picked up everybody on the way home and took them to big xmas dinner. the very aim was to eat till u almost die. and aim was done. holiday we - in santa claus costumes - drunk of russain vodka - were playing hide-and-seek, destroying empty flat. it's importante to feel cozy in company, cozy, and it was here.
when suddenly i found myself under some storm of sincerity, waterfall, stream, some words which i always keep in myself, never can tell - despite it's really necessary sometimes to tell them and to hear them, some words which always stuck somewhere in my mouth, which i afraid like hell - words of my own feelings - words of my own -
i was crying with my words, i was crying saying
not only me was crying this evening
but after all - was i that empty and that full, that sure and that unsure, that happy and that destroyed...
merry christmas
Labels: after-all
posted by light will-o-z-wisp at
7:38 am
1 Comments:
i was happy
asya
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