stone facture

Our conversations started to be stricter but more sincere. Too straight sometimes. But more truth to each other. I like and need this way without extra smile but with more understanding. Even I mistake every single world here. That change when she was in Barcelona. I felt. It happens sometimes that you feel what somebody thinks about through couple of thousands kilometers. And sometimes can’t understand the feeling of smile here. She came to my place then – on the crack of down - without sleeping (I need to work in night bar – she said. We could work together couple of months – I replied). New York New York that was – film made perfectly and only by Liza Minelli. Her lashes – half a cheek and that scene when she is trying to get out of the car. With naked feet in the rain – some moves, some expression just stay somewhere in ur mind. They come when u fall in thoughts. Images. Phrases. Expressions. Songs. Faces. Or when u’re meditating. U never can get rid of ur head. Hours and hours can pass. Meeting and leaving somebody I always think – if I leave in his head a tiny remembrance, a tiny image. Some people remember u years – mom told. They come back to u. because can’t forget. Meeting and leaving somebody I always think – if I can become “something” for him. Some word. Some expression. Some way. Some life. I always afraid – afraid so much – that there are meetings which leave nothing. May be I just afraid to be nothing.

Fey already was sleeping when Liza was singing a song about New York.

That the most sincere and trustful that u can do. To fall in sleep next to somebody. The most tender.

Everytime I fall in sleep next to him – always during the day, so tired of the day – opening my eyes then – I feel a light fear of tenderness.